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Season 3

The Colbert Report

Season 3

  • 2007
  1. Episode 1 Ethan Nadelmann January 8, 2007 Stephen opens the show disappointed that Saddam Hussein was suddenly hanged over the show's break. He responds to Lake Superior State University's ban of the word 'truthiness' in "Who's Attacking…
  2. Episode 2 Jim Cramer January 9, 2007 Freem replaces superstantial in the opening sequence. Stephen thanks former Archbishop of Warsaw Stanis³aw Wielgus for being caught in a Catholic Church scandal of a non-sexual nature; scorns Democrats for…
  3. Episode 3 David Kamp January 10, 2007 Stephen criticizes Bush for not sending 300 million troops as Stephen advised the day before but he pardons him if this is "the only mistake he makes in this war".…
  4. Episode 4 Judy Woodruff January 11, 2007 Stephen starts with another episode of his challenge "What Number is Stephen thinking of?" with a clip from 2005. He then celebrates 5 years of Guantanamo Bay and talks to…
  5. Episode 5 Alex Kuczynski January 15, 2007 Wishing viewers a happy Martin Luther King Day, Stephen calls for a nationwide lie-in to refuse engaging in "anything at all", in the style of passive protest such as Rosa…
  6. Episode 6 Dinesh D’Souza January 16, 2007 In anticipation of Bill O'Reilly arriving in-studio on Thursday, Stephen lashes out at Jimmy the director for a squeaky chair. In a new segment "Invasion of the Country Snatchers", Stephen…
  7. Episode 7 Richard Clarke January 17, 2007 Still in anticipation of Bill O'Reilly arriving in-studio on Thursday Stephen is more nervous than the day before, bringing out some cherished objects he plans to show O'Reilly the next…
  8. Bill O’Reilly Episode 8 Bill O’Reilly January 18, 2007 The big day is here, so Stephen is crazy with anticipation that Bill O'Reilly will be on the show, stating that his only goal with this show was to see…
  9. Episode 9 Tom Schaller January 22, 2007 Stephen is disappointed at the loss by the New Orleans Saints to the Chicago "God-less killing Machines" Bears. In another "Who's Riding My Coattails Now?", Stephen calls out Bill Clinton…
  10. Episode 10 Michael S. Steele January 23, 2007 Stephen explains that this is the second of two episodes they taped on January 22, so that he can host a State of the Union address party on the 23rd.…
  11. Episode 11 Lou Dobbs January 24, 2007 Lou Dobbs, author of War on the Middle Class, faces the truth hammer when he sits down to talk with Stephen.
  12. Episode 12 Mike Wallace January 25, 2007 Bill O'Reilly spills the beans on Stephen, and says what he really thought of him on his show. Stephen interviews Coach Bob Mancini of the Saginaw Spirit. And he doesn't…
  13. Episode 13 Barry Lando January 29, 2007 Colbert wins bet with mayor of Oshawa after Saginaw Spirit defeated Oshawa Generals. Colbert discusses Microsoft paying someone for Wikipedia edits, and concludes that reality has become a commodity. Wag…
  14. Episode 14 Donna Shalala January 30, 2007 Stephen opens the show by showing a clip from Fox News' Fox and Friends, talking about the invisible beam that makes a person think he is on fire. Stephen then…
  15. Episode 15 Jed Babbin January 31, 2007 Stephen opens the show by discussing the "problem" with Global Warming and in protest replaces Bobby with a 5000 Watt heat lamp. This is followed by the return of the…
  16. Episode 16 Chuck Schumer February 1, 2007 Stephen comments on the 2007 Boston Mooninite Scare that occurred in Boston and laments the fact that he can no longer proceed with his obviously threatening-looking advertisements. This is followed…
  17. Episode 17 Wendy Kopp February 5, 2007 Stephen is ecstatic at the slaughtering the Bears underwent in Super Bowl XLI. Also, he introduces a new product "Formula 419" (A combination of his Formula 401 and 18, Peyton…
  18. Episode 18 Charlie LeDuff February 6, 2007 Stephen receives a message from Master Media International that they would be praying on his behalf on February 22. This is followed by the 40th installment of Better Know A…
  19. Episode 19 Steven Pinker February 7, 2007 Stephen starts by introducing a new segment, "California Values Watch". After addressing San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom's recent problems. Then talks about the controversy stirred between Representatives Loretta Sanchez and…
  20. Episode 20 Debra Dickerson February 8, 2007 Stephen starts by talking about the astronaut incident on the news and especially that everyone talks about Lisa Nowak wearing a diaper, admitting that he too wears a diaper during…
  21. Episode 21 Michael Oppenheimer February 12, 2007 Stephen starts by dancing/singing "My Humps" behind his desk and discusses Grammys. He then talks about criticism of the Iraq War transitioning into "The Word." This is followed by a…
  22. Episode 22 Sheryl WuDunn February 13, 2007 Colbert talks about the Chinese Menace, entitling a Colbert Report special report "Apocalypse Mao: Murdered By The Orient's Success".
  23. Episode 23 Lance Armstrong February 14, 2007 Stephen makes correction, that the Chinese have four times more population than the US, not three. Colbert admonishes people teaching seniors about sex. Sport Report: about the Westminster Dog Show,…
  24. Episode 24 Shashi Tharoor February 15, 2007 Colbert talks about how Mastermedia International will pray for him on February 22nd. Asks J. J. Abrams how his prayer day went, with photo of Jimmie "J.J." Walker showing. Then…
  25. Episode 25 Zev Chafets February 26, 2007 Stephen compares Britain leaving Iraq to Britain leaving the U.S. and India - saying it will cause a flourish of Democracy.
  26. Episode 26 Craig Venter February 27, 2007 Stephen comments on a recent report about Al Gore's energy usage. Outdoor Life Magazine fires a columnist for calling for an assault rifle ban, an action Stephen commends in the…
  27. Episode 27 Nina Jablonski February 28, 2007 Colbert comments on how David Geffen has switched his support from Hillary Clinton to Barack Obama. Then he mentions how Tom Vilsack chickened out of the presidential race, and interviews…
  28. Episode 28 Larry King March 1, 2007 Mr. Colbert thanks those who prayed for him last Thursday, with his prayer hat and foam fingers. Also he comments on the coverage of the Anna Nicole Smith story. Better…
  29. Episode 29 Ben & Jerry March 5, 2007 Stephen comments on how many politicians have visited Walter Reed Hospital since the scandal. Ben and Jerry appeared to promote their new ice cream flavor named in honor of Stephen.…
  30. Episode 30 Mark Frauenfelder March 6, 2007 Stephen brags about winning the Mega Millions drawing, which hadn't happened yet. In this segment he also mocks Viacom CEO Sumner Redstone. Then he talks about how Lewis "Scooter" Libby…
  31. Episode 31 Michael Specter March 7, 2007 Colbert makes a rare correction about winning Mega Millions drawing, and calls his boss Sumner Redstone to grovel. The Word was about removing the military Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy.…
  32. Episode 32 Ted Koppel March 8, 2007 Stephen wonders why the media is still discussing the Libby trial. Then he talks about the death of Captain America, and adds more in The Word. Better Know A District…
  33. Episode 33 Nicholas Kristof March 12, 2007 Stephen upbraids Bill Gates for giving charitably to other nations while bemoaning America's faltering competitiveness. He retracts his disparaging comments about Captain America when he learns that the superhero has…
  34. Episode 34 Michael Eric Dyson March 13, 2007 Stephen closes the show by announcing The Word ("Goodnight"), after which the credits roll.
  35. Episode 35 Ed Viesturs March 14, 2007 Colbert introduces a new segment, "When Ancestors Attack." Then he mentions how Colorado has made John Denver's "Rocky Mountain High" their second official song. Sport Report: advice on filling out…
  36. Episode 36 Ayaan Hirsi Ali March 15, 2007 Stephen celebrates the last St. Patrick's Day ever! Then he moves on to how Latin America has so many rabid admirers of President Bush, with comments from Esteban Colberto. In…
  37. Episode 37 Jerome Groopman March 19, 2007 Stephen talks about the latest attack in DC, on him, by Rahm Emanuel.[2] The Word refers to South Carolina proposing to allow prisoners to donate organs to reduce jail time.…
  38. Episode 38 Willie Nelson March 20, 2007 While unveiling threat # .5 as an addendum to yesterday's threatdown, Stephen finds himself in agreement with a German environmentalist over the euthanasia of Knut, a polar bear cub at…
  39. Episode 39 Benjamin Barber March 21, 2007 In the 45th installment of Better Know A District, the guest was Maurice Hinchey from New York's 22nd congressional district.
  40. Episode 40 Katie Couric March 22, 2007 Debate over DC-residents voting bill with Congresswoman Eleanor Holmes Norton. Criticism over Chicago Sun-Times face reading expert Rose Rosetree's interpretation of Stephen's facial features. Phone conversation with Coach Bob Mancini…
  41. Episode 41 Gwen Ifill March 26, 2007 Stephen expressed his anger that a severed mummy hand was recently sold at auction, but not to him; the hand was the earliest example of we're No. #1. In response…
  42. Episode 42 Madeleine Albright March 27, 2007 Stephen chided Sean Penn for his blunt criticism of the Bush administration. Stephen discusses Iran, specifically a clash over religion, with former US Secretary of State Madeleine Albright who took…
  43. Episode 43 Jabari Asim March 28, 2007 Stephen displayed his disappointment at the elimination of Paulina Porizkova from Dancing with the Stars, especially given that her husband Ric Ocasek is a friend of the show. Stephen discussed…
  44. Episode 44 Clive James March 29, 2007 First, Stephen questioned the necessity of the Equal Rights Amendment, since everyone should be on the honor system. Later, Stephen cited the promulgation of John McCain that Sadr City is…
  45. Episode 45 Colin Beavan April 9, 2007 Colbert celebrates the 4th anniversary of the liberation of Baghdad, while he eats his "Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream" ice cream. He continues to eat it through the show. And announces…
  46. Episode 46 Jeannette Walls April 10, 2007 Stephen scolded the 15 British sailors whom after recently returning from captivity in Iran were seeking to publish accounts of their experience. In "The Word", he talked about America's bogus…
  47. Episode 47 Vali Nasr April 11, 2007 Stephen introduced the latest eponymic animal, Stephanie Colburtle, one of the leatherback sea turtles being tracked from Costa Rica to the Galapagos Islands. In "The Word", Stephen revisited Monday's story…
  48. Episode 48 Dr. Richard Land April 12, 2007 Stephen criticized Democratic senator Harry Reid for using "politicizing the war in Iraq" by citing a translation of a recent speech by Pope Benedict XVI. In "The Wørd," Stephen praised…
  49. Episode 49 John Kerry April 16, 2007 Stephen begins by issuing a correction for having called Boyd K. Packer the "Mormon Pope" or "Mope," when he is more of a Mormon Cardinal, or "Mardinal." Colbert then compares…
  50. Episode 50 Elaine Pagels April 17, 2007 Stephen announced that he will be having a metaphor-off with Sean Penn on Thursday's show. Update on Stephanie Colburtle the turtle who was in 2nd place at the time of…
  51. Episode 51 Paulina Porizkova April 18, 2007 On Who's NOT honoring me now, Stephen complained that he was not being awarded a Pulitzer Prize in journalism. In "The Word," Stephen suggested the corporate sponsorship of the War…
  52. Episode 52 Sean Penn April 19, 2007 Stephen balks at a scientific study saying that chimpanzees are more evolved than humans in DNA. On "The Word," he talks about John Edwards' $400 haircut and considers him going…
  53. Episode 53 Russell Simmons April 23, 2007
  54. Episode 54 Dr. Andrew Weil April 24, 2007 The first act opens with a remembrance of Boris Yeltsin. Stephen continues with a combative interview with Eleanor Holmes Norton regarding a recent bill to give the District of Columbia…
  55. Episode 55 David Walker April 25, 2007 Colbert decides that a new name is necessary for the long war, and comes up with Freemerican Victernity Made in China. He then backs the idea of having illegal immigrants…
  56. Episode 56 Madeleine Bordallo April 26, 2007 Stephen is unhappy at the fact that Stephanie Colburtle The Turtle did not win The Great Turtle Race, after being bested by another turtle named Billy. He claims Billy is…
  57. Episode 57 Neil deGrasse Tyson / Bill Bradley April 30, 2007 "It's the last day of April. One more month 'till Speedo season! Do your squats. This is The Colbert Report.
  58. Episode 58 Malcolm Gladwell May 1, 2007
  59. Episode 59 Gina Kolata May 2, 2007
  60. Episode 60 Conn Iggulden May 3, 2007
  61. Episode 61 Richard Preston May 7, 2007
  62. Episode 62 Nassi Nicholas Taleb May 8, 2007
  63. Episode 63 Salman Rushdie, Jane Fonda May 9, 2007
  64. Episode 64 Jann Wenner May 10, 2007
  65. Episode 65 William Langewiesche May 14, 2007
  66. Episode 66 Walter Isaacson May 15, 2007
  67. Episode 67 Howard Dean May 16, 2007
  68. Episode 68 Randy Kearse, Rep. Tom Delay May 17, 2007
  69. Episode 69 Jared Diamond May 21, 2007
  70. Episode 70 John Amaechi May 22, 2007
  71. Episode 71 Bay Buchanan, Bob Deans May 23, 2007
  72. Episode 72 Jimmy Wales May 24, 2007
  73. Episode 73 Rep. Jan Schakowsky, Leon Botstein June 4, 2007
  74. Episode 74 Jessica Valenti June 5, 2007
  75. Episode 75 Carl Bernstein June 6, 2007
  76. Episode 76 Cullen Murphy June 7, 2007
  77. Episode 77 Dr. Michael D. Gershon June 11, 2007
  78. Episode 78 Josh Wolf June 12, 2007
  79. Episode 79 Rep. Ron Paul June 13, 2007
  80. Episode 80 Daniel B. Smith June 14, 2007
  81. Episode 81 Toby Keith June 18, 2007
  82. Episode 82 Anne-Marie Slaughter June 19, 2007
  83. Episode 83 Will Schwalbe June 20, 2007
  84. Episode 84 Vincent Bugliosi June 21, 2007
  85. Episode 85 Tom Hayden June 25, 2007
  86. Episode 86 David France June 26, 2007
  87. Episode 87 Tom Blanton, Daniel Gilbert June 27, 2007
  88. Episode 88 Doug Bailey June 28, 2007
  89. Episode 89 Richard Florida, Ben Nelson July 16, 2007
  90. Episode 90 Mark Moffett July 17, 2007
  91. Episode 91 John Mellencamp July 18, 2007
  92. Episode 92 Frank Sulloway July 19, 2007
  93. Episode 93 Simon Schama July 23, 2007
  94. Episode 94 Anthony D. Romero July 24, 2007
  95. Episode 95 Charles Kaiser July 25, 2007
  96. Episode 96 Robert Shrum July 26, 2007
  97. Episode 97 Evan Osnos July 30, 2007
  98. Episode 98 Kathleen Kennedy Townsend July 31, 2007
  99. Episode 99 Michael Beschloss August 1, 2007
  100. Episode 100 Michael J. Behe August 2, 2007
  101. Episode 101 Ian Bogost August 7, 2007
  102. Episode 102 Jim Cramer, Tina Brown August 8, 2007
  103. Episode 103 Judd Apatow August 9, 2007
  104. Episode 104 Michael Jacobson August 13, 2007
  105. Episode 105 Jerry Miller, Spencer Wells August 14, 2007
  106. Episode 106 Michael Wallis August 15, 2007 From the previous episode, Stephen again mentions the possibility that his ancestors were Jewish. He then discusses perceived inflammatory speech on the Daily Kos website and interviews the website's founder,…
  107. Episode 107 Mike Huckabee August 16, 2007 Stephen begins by asking people not to watch his interview with Richard Branson on August 22, which has been reported in the media as a "trainwreck." Stephen then interviews Mike…
  108. Episode 108 Nathan Sawaya August 20, 2007 Stephen continues to attack wrist violence, and says the worst offender in "Wrist snuff" is Steven Seagal. He also announces that his "WristStrong" wristbands are now available from colbertneation.com, and…
  109. Episode 109 Michael Shermer August 21, 2007 Stephen starts with the \"Smokin\' Pole: The Fight for Arctic Riches\" segment, where he attacks Canada\'s claim to the Northwest Passage through the Arctic, claiming it belongs to the United…
  110. Episode 110 Richard Branson August 22, 2007 In \"Colbert Platinum\", he talks about the shutting down of a helipad in Saint-Tropez and the growing demand for champagne. He then interviews Richard Branson about Virgin America and \"Air…
  111. Episode 111 Thomas E. Ricks August 23, 2007 Stephen reviews the Iraq War and Dick Cheney\'s role in advocating it. He then interviews Thomas E. Ricks about the war. Stephen then talks about his broken wrist and shows…
  112. Bjorn Lomborg Episode 112 Bjorn Lomborg September 10, 2007 Tonight Stephen welcomes the former director of the Environmental Assessment Institute and author of Cool It: The Skeptical Environmentalist’s Guide to Global Warming, Bjorn Lomborg.
  113. Garrison Keillor Episode 113 Garrison Keillor September 11, 2007 Tonight Stephen welcomes humorist and author of Pontoon: A Novel of Lake Wobegon, Garrison Keillor.
  114. Joel Klein Episode 114 Joel Klein September 12, 2007 Tonight Stephen welcomes the chancellor of New York City Schools, Joel Klein.
  115. Ed Begley Jr Episode 115 Ed Begley Jr September 13, 2007 Tonight Stephen welcomes actor and environmental activist and co-author of Grassroots Rising, Ed Begley jr. Also Stephen talks with Father James Martin, author of My Life with the Saints, over…
  116. Susan Sarandon Episode 116 Susan Sarandon September 18, 2007 Tonight Stephen welcomes actress and activist and the co-star of In the Valley of Elah, Susan Sarandon.
  117. Naomi Wolf Episode 117 Naomi Wolf September 19, 2007 Tonight Stephen welcomes feminist and author of The End of America: A Letter of Warning To A Young Patriot, Naomi Wolf
  118. Jeffrey Toobin Episode 118 Jeffrey Toobin September 20, 2007 Tonight Stephen welcomes legal writer and author of The Nine: Inside the Secret World of the Supreme Court, Jeffrey Toobin.
  119. Thomas Friedman Episode 119 Thomas Friedman September 24, 2007 Tonight Stephen welcomes New York Times columnist and author of The World is Flat [Updated and Expanded]: A Brief History of the Twenty-First Century, Thomas Firedman
  120. Episode 120 John Grisham September 25, 2007 Tonight Stephen welcomes retired attorney and author of Playing For Pizza, John Grisham.
  121. Episode 121 Tony Bennett September 26, 2007 Tonight Stephen welcomes opera singer Nathan Gunn, whose new CD is Just Before Sunrise.
  122. Episode 122 David Schwartz September 27, 2007 Tonight Stephen welcomes the chief film curator of the Museum of Moving Image, David Schwartz.
  123. Episode 123 Charlie Savage October 1, 2007
  124. Episode 124 John Mearsheimer October 2, 2007
  125. Episode 125 Jim Lovell October 3, 2007
  126. Episode 126 John Kao October 4, 2007
  127. Episode 127 George Saunders October 8, 2007
  128. Episode 128 Stephen Colbert October 9, 2007
  129. Episode 129 Gen. Wesley Clark October 10, 2007
  130. Episode 130 Chris Jordan October 11, 2007
  131. Episode 131 Paul Glastris October 15, 2007
  132. Episode 132 Bob Drogin October 16, 2007
  133. Episode 133 Garry Kasparov October 17, 2007
  134. Episode 134 Craig Newmark October 18, 2007
  135. Episode 135 Richard Berman October 29, 2007
  136. Episode 136 Craig Venter October 30, 2007
  137. Episode 137 Col. Lawrence Wilkerson October 31, 2007
  138. Episode 138 Walter Kirn November 1, 2007